Argh !

I am in the throes of my worst flare up of Fibromyalgia yet. I just want it to be over. Luckily the increase in my Bipolar meds have counteracted any effect it might have on that, so no issues there, thank goodness. ( If you could see the spelling mistakes I have had to correct in those few words, then you’d see what a mess I am ).

So this bout started with an increase of general aches and pains, then a major increase in my back, hips and neck, and now it’s pretty intense all over, and I have that lovely sensation of body parts feeling swollen when they aren’t, currently it feels like I have fluid retention in my feet and ankles ( which are not swollen at all ) and my right hand, which isn’t swollen either. Dull headache, dizzy spells and feeling like I am overheating round out the current situation. So much fun.

So this has been worsening for about 4 days now, no let up. I have been taking the regular pain control, tramadol, but in the past couple of days, I have also been forced to add Panadiene Forte into the mix. I hate taking them, they aren’t good for the digestive system, especially the last bit. But, it is at that point where without them, I wouldn’t be able to sleep at all. Without sleep, I would be a complete mess, well more complete than I feel now.

I’m still forcing myself to do stuff, to live life as much as possible, although it is actually a huge struggle. I guess I try and hide it, just like I was good at hiding the bipolar before I decided to hell with it, I’m going to tell the world, but I reckon tomorrow I will probably have to revert to using my walking stick to get around. No hiding it then. I have to say though, I am kidding myself that I am hiding it, because my mother, who also suffers from it, albeit in the earlier stages of it, knew something wasn’t right on Thursday when they visited, and when I said something to her today about it, she knew something wasn’t right on Thursday.

I should actually add to the list of symptoms at this point, IBS, because my stomach just reminded me of that symptom as well. This is crazy, and I know crazy, I’m certified !!!

I think you just have to keep your sense of humour in this situation. If you lose that, then I reckon you’d be right up shit creek, and don’t worry about being without a paddle, you wouldn’t have the canoe either !!

I do have to admit, for the first time, that I am reaching the point where I am probably going to start needing some outside help from time to time to keep up with things. That was hard to say. That was hard to admit.

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