Ups and downs

Over the past few days, I have been getting out doing a few things, although I feel like being somewhere else. Somewhere with temperatures that don’t fall below about 20 degrees Celsius. My fibromyalgia is almost the worst it has been, this winter, which isn’t officially here yet, is proving to not be fun at all. Today, for the second day in a row, my pain, particularly in my shoulders and neck, is making me nauseous. This is a new development.

It is currently raining cats and dogs, as well as horses and sheep, the sound on the roof is deafening. It is cold.

Despite all this, I have been busy clipping hedges and trimming garden edges, doing washing and all the usual daily demands. If I don’t, then there is no one else to do it. While I am busy doing these things, at least I am taking my mind off how absolutely crap I feel. The past 2 days I have also had to sleep for a few hours each afternoon, the fatigue is crushing. Most days I soldier on through, hitting about 1.30pm, ready for sleep, but  keep myself going on auto-pilot in a semi-conscious state until my son needs to go to bed, and then doing so myself.  But I am back to not being capable of that now. Auto-pilot is broken. If I force it, I would probably collapse asleep where ever I am at that moment.

One little glimmer of hope in the last few days was on Saturday evening, I have had a severe pain in the left side of my neck and left shoulder since my drive back home from Melbourne just over 3 weeks ago. I had a long soak in my parents bath tub, the water really hot, and was in there for over half an hour. When I got out, what ever was causing the pain released, and with an almighty crunch, the tightness and intense pain gave way to a dull ache and a bit more freedom of movement. It is still aching, but now equally with the other side !!

I did have a really crap sleep last night, as the pain from the fibro made it hard to get comfortable, and even when I had a sleep this afternoon, I had the same problem. I am going to take all my meds, and then cook myself in the shower before I go to bed tonight, hopefully I melt my body enough to be able to sleep.

Well, I might retreat to my fibro fog again, as it is becoming a mission to write anything that makes sense now. Goodnight all, have sweet dreams.



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