I don’t like having photo’s taken of me. Most people don’t, well, most people I know don’t anyhow. You hit a certain age and the gloss of having your photo taken wears off. I mostly don’t like photo’s taken of me because I am morbidly obese. There, I’ve said it, it’s out there now. I am not as morbidly obese as I was 3 years ago, in fact I am about 30kgs less obese than I was then. But I am still very overweight.
My brother is good at photography, and he takes good photo’s of me when I see him. I might not necessarily like what I look like, but he takes photo’s that aren’t made to make you look horrible. On the other hand, my father relishes in taking the most horrible photo of a person he can. ( Sorry dad, but it is the truth.) So, looking at some photo’s my brother took last weekend, I can see that I am really big. I do look at myself in a mirror, I know I am big, but to see it in a photo put’s it in a different perspective. I have also been going through photo’s my son has taken since Christmas, and I really need to make a change here somehow.
It’s not like I am not active, probably, no, definitely not active enough, but I am not a couch potato either. Having an illness like fibromyalgia doesn’t help, but excuses are excuses, you have to find a way of getting around them. I mow my own lawns, do all my own housework, walk down the shop when I need something and it isn’t raining, you know, all the stuff that people seem to outsource to someone else or drive to these days.
I don’t eat like a pig either. When I am at Mum and Dads, they seem to be eating all the time, dad is right on his correct weight, and mum isn’t that far away herself. They always keep saying if you are hungry grab something, and seem surprised that the one sandwich at lunch is quite enough for me. I have cut down on sugar over the past 6 months, and have also reduced my serving sizes at meal times, although they were not over indulgent anyhow.
I need to do something though. I really, really, don’t like the way I look. It’s the weight, not the age. If I was slim, I wouldn’t worry about the age, I mean, I have earned every wrinkle and so on and so forth that comes with being older. I don’t care what other people think of the way I look, I’ve never been a fashion victim, I have my own style, which has been with me for over 20 years. I don’t like the way I look. I don’t like being fat.
So starting right now, I am going to take some drastic action to sort it out. My goal is to lose 20kg in the next 6 months. It won’t be all I need to lose, but it is 2/3rds of what I need to lose from my current weight. I have to do it. It would be wonderful to go the whole 30kgs by Christmas, but I am not going to set goals that I am hoping for, if I achieve that, it will be a bonus. I have set the 20kg goal because I want it to be at least that.