Happy.

Funnily enough, with all the issues of the flare up and now a cold or something, I am feeling rather happy. It’s a strange thing, being happy when you feel like crap.

I had someone ask me a few weeks back (in fact I have got it nearly all my life), why am I always smiling? My reply was actually probably only part of the answer, as I said, “well I was fucking miserable for 14 years, and now I am free and feel great, what’s not to smile about?” It was the first thing that came into my head, and as I said, probably only part of it, part would be I have no fucking idea why I smile all the time, and another part would be that more of the world needs to smile, it would be a better place for us all if we all smiled.

You know, even with all the crap I have to put up with, the hand I’ve been dealt with in life, blahdy, blah, I still smile. It costs nothing. It makes people who you meet feel happy. If people around you are happy, it feeds your happiness. It’s a self sustaining cycle. If you are miserable, and show it, then that negativity spreads all around you.

I’m not saying I am happy all the time. I’m not saying I am smiling all the time. I would be lying if I did. But, you must always try to see a lighter side to life, even in the pits of despair. Hey, I suffer from a mental health issue that half of which is feeling fucking miserable. I have other conditions that do their best to make you feel fucking miserable. I do despair sometimes, read my posts, it is there. But I have to keep going, so letting myself sink into that pit, and staying there isn’t an option. If someone asks me how am I going, I say okay most of the time, even if I am not. I must admit that I have started saying “surviving” a little more when I have felt like crap, but it is still not like saying ” fucking awful actually, I’m in pain, my son is driving me crazy, and I feel like a fucking failure”.

Stay happy folks !!!

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