Is reconnecting a good idea?

My general opinion on this one is up in the air. Is reconnecting with people from the past a great idea or not ? I have reconnected with a few people from the past over the time I have been on Facebook, so that’s now about a decade. If I was to crunch the numbers, I would guess that about 10% I am still reconnected with. So, you would think that that would firmly place me in the  NO camp. Don’t do it, the past is the past, leave it there. But, I am not so sure, as even if my success rate at reconnecting is 10%, my life is so much better for that 10% who have been a success.

When it comes to past loves, well, the stats there are currently at 33%. Of the 3 past loves in my life I have reconnected with, I am still friends with one. That’s probably because she is the only one that isn’t batshit crazy.

R.R. was probably my first real girlfriend. She’s the sane one I am still friends with. I think when I first became friends with her on Facebook, the fact that I still remembered she loved Spearmint Leaves was a bit of a surprised to her !!! She is certainly the one that got away. I have even met up with her in the past couple of years, and she is such a nice, intelligent, switched on woman, and, I must add, she is still as smoking hot as I remember her over 20 years ago!!!

The next one I reconnected with, well, twice now, she is psycho. The back story goes as such.

We went out in the late part of high school. She lived interstate, but my best friend at the time was going out with her twin sister, and we made a long distance thing work. We saw each other on holidays. She was also a year older than I. Anyhow, when we finished high school, I went off to work as a stockman, she was at teachers college. One night, she rang, asking if it was okay if she went out that night. Hell, why not, I wasn’t there, I’m not the possessive type, why shouldn’t she go out ? I told her go for it. 10 minutes later, the phone rang again ( now let me tell you, this was before mobile phones were really around much, so the phone was a payphone where I was working, at the end of the verandah of the workers accommodation, so any of the blokes who I worked with would answer it.) My mate got me again, and she asks exactly the same question, I give her the same reply. Me not being stupid, realised then it was something else. Anyhow, hung up, went back to hanging out with the guys.

Then, 5 minutes later, you guessed it, another call. That’s when it came out, I told her after the second call that I guessed that’s what it was all about, and that if she wanted to, go right ahead, what could I do, I was 3000km away !! She then just drove me crazy, all stupid about the whole thing she was, it was a guy from college, etc, etc. 4th time she called. I got drunk. Really drunk. Full bottle of rum drunk. “It’s over, I don’t care !!!!” I said, then hung up.

Well, move on 15 years, she married the guy, isn’t a teacher anymore ( probably because she couldn’t spell and was pretty much a bloody moron anyhow) and was a telemarketer, her parents have split up, you know, the whole disaster story. She would love to catch up with me (since we were now living in the same city, a pretty easy thing to do), blahdy blah, asserts she’s happily married, more than once, but is very keen to meet up with me on my own. The hairs on the back of my neck were obviously standing up now, and flashing red lights and alarms going off in my head. I avoided meeting up, and did the defriend thing. She weirded me out.

She and her mum just so happened to be friends with one of my cousins, so then requests started coming through that avenue to meet up. Became Facebook friends again, all the same shit, then spoke to my cousin on the phone and we talked about it. I said to my cousin that if my ex was so happy with the guy she left me for, then why was she so insistent on seeing me, and after a bit of a chat, it came out that her marriage was a disaster. So yes, I think she wanted to get back with me, but it was definitely NOT going to happen, yes I was single, but certainly not available for that walking disaster. When I finally defriended her the second time, she messaged me, saying I should be nice, not nasty, because I defriended her, all I did was defriend, I didn’t lay into her, I said nothing actually, just hit the button. Until writing this today, I have been nice. Definitely dodged a bullet with that one !!!!

Then we have contestant 3. We had a strange relationship. She was 5 years younger than me, a friend of my brother. It was one of those hot/cold sort of things. I really don’t know how to explain it any better. Anyhow, she was into joining the army, and after a few drama’s in her family life, it ended. I soon met my ex after that, and we all know that was a disaster !! Anyhow, number 3 sent a friend request, I accepted. Another psycho, another bullet dodged !!! Defriended.

Aside from ex’s, I have reconnected with other friends from the past, of a few dozen, I am pretty much only still in contact with 3 or 4. As I said earlier, the re-connection success rate might be low, but those I am still friends with are certainly people I appreciate still having in my life.

So I guess I think it is a good idea, but be totally prepared to realise that you may have once had a lot in common, but probably don’t now.


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